To Sai

Pain is a not a funny thing really, but it’s a little self absorbed because your pain always seems more than someone else’s. And then you shut people out because you’re so angry that they don’t understand your pain. You don’t even want them to. I thought I would wait until I finished grieving. But then I realised I never would. It’s a lifetime of dancing in the rain, a lifetime of looking at little things and loving them, a lifetime of seeing and feeling things differently, finding beauty where there is apparently none, sense where there is madness and madness where there is too much sense. It’s a lifetime of conversation. Of being a better and worse person...of talking for hours and more. It’s a friend lost.