Monday, May 21, 2007

When you're done listening and singing...

After the music fades out and the skies settle, there is a void that makes sure it engulfs all that it can find. Then slowly the void begins to appeal, and turns into a living death…slow and severe at the same time, with an intense tune to it. Your body starts to dance to this tune, and by the time you’re done dancing, there’s nothing but your body left…because all the music was being made of you, feeding of your existence.

Your existence becomes an excuse of itself. The tune continues to play, and becomes a part of you, and you have no other choice but to have it feed off you.

Now there’s darkness, and you realize you begin to see, and then anything that has to do with anything you've known ever crumbles into pieces. And you understand everything, and analyze and comprehend it, you also live it, not knowing how to.

There are pangs of joy and elation, and the moments that you perceive as your own, but nothing remains your own, because you owe so much to the world. But you also owe so much to yourself.

There’s no reprieve, from your demands of the world, or from the world’s demands of you. Then one day you decide it’s all futile, and there’s just one way of doing it.

To not do it at all.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

two days before, i was asking my frnd, wht happend to all those
clouds sent by kalidass..in his poem.. will they be hanging somewhr!...
spider web..cosmos....he said it might hav rained somewhr..and went bak again ..
become cloud...then rained..its cycle.. its always thr...in some form or othr...
nothing destroyed...he said... and lastnight it rained here..
after a long time... i was imagining.. the clouds of kalidass are raining...
you walk out the heat comes out from the abyss of earth..takes roots into your legs..
you get strange stimulation...the heat wave remains in your body..
you want some more shower.. you get wet... the whole mind ..the whole body ..
and your shirt too.. the rain slowly stops...after running long race..
stop by 100 steps..thn 10 steps..then just two..and one...
your shirt dry slowly... your body too..you change your shirt...
you change your body!... but you change your soul!?!.. not..
it rethinks ..re-live again those moments... experience is not same when you think again,..
but it keeps you warm... the meaning of words are like cousins...
you are related to me...i'm related to you..by referring my word...you refer other word...
it may be opposite of word..still its relation... the whole word.. comes and merges in silence..
the whole world comes in merge with silence.. when there’s not much word...
you feel ..wht.. just you feel.. .f.r.a.g.m.e.n.t.s...the part..the whole..
how to see the part as whole.. the whole as part.. how you separate... how u blur thm again.. smudge..
by thinking all these you go to bed.. the better life comes...dream... dreams work without relation..
everything floats...when you wakeup..its dream.. like new born dew.. it reflects the whole word..
like krishnas mouth.. you see yourself ..the seeing of yourself... but you love tht dew..
you keep watching it...what happens..its anothr day.. the dew..



'It is a beautiful plant growing from year to year in the heart,
ever extending its palms and branches,
doubling every season its glorious clusters
and perfumes; and, my dear life, tell me, repeat to me always,
that nothing will bruise its bark or its delicate leaves,
that it will grow larger in both our hearts, loved, free, watched over,
like a life within our life'...--------'balzac'

Unknown said...

few weeks back, our owner got new plant into our terrace. and i liked that plant, i wanted to look after it, and started pouring water for it. i din't know howmuch to pour for tht little plant, but i poured water, initially, it got over flowed. even the soil came out from the bottom hole of pot. i thought i have over done it. so i stopped for a few days, then the plant become dry. even i felt worse. then i poured little water. but in the evening itself it become dull.
but better than previous day. next morning, i decided to pour medium amount of water, it worked little bit till next day morning. so before i brush, i poured same amount of water. so that it can grow, and it started growing. so day by day, i poured water as per growth of plant. the plant also growing, here, i have to synch with growth of plant while watering.

now we got into mould, myself and the plant. if sometimes rains, i didn't water for it. but the moment i see the change in number of leaves in plant, i watered little extra for it. only now, i feel, i'm watering the plant. before it was just overflow for both of us. it is lesson from plant not even one feet height. (now, two feet). when i over pour it, the essence of soil also lost. if i under pour than the plant is not growing. it took time for me and the plant to gel within us. now, i feel, i'm watering a plant.

what i learnt, do the exact amount, over doing will spoil both. if a small plant has so much sensitivity; we, human beings evolved from it for more than million years before. i wonder our sensitivity will be for beyond to calculate. love is such that too. balanced perfection between two. this perfection is life.

to surprise me, the plant showed me a bud, first bud in that plant. its next to my hand, i touch that as if i'm sun. when i came out after bath,
i see that it bloomed in full, the colorful fragrance.
o! how beautiful! in a fraction of moment, life blooms.

love and life are like that too. understanding, giving space for each other.
but there is no two , love n life. both are one, you can't separate them.
you are my love, you are my life too.

only in love, you can't think of i'm done with it.
love is always presence, it lives, love lives!
~